Last weekend I was home for the second time this autumn, and I knew it would be a fast-paced weekend well in advance. What I didn’t know was that by the end of the four days spent home I would so many things to be grateful for.
Though I have to note here that maybe once you decide you are grateful for things they show up seemingly out of nowhere and then you go with the flow of noticing many wonderful things around you. But I know that this weekend was extra special. So, what happened? I have a friend, whose pain I can understand deeply. I didn’t know whether I would stay at my mother’s or not, because my husband is allergic to cats. So I asked my husband to decide whether we would stay over at this friend’s place or not. In the end he said it was not necessary as long as the cat did not go into the room where we slept. Nevertheless, exactly when we were discussing what we should do a little message arrived from him: when are you around next?
I replied: next week, Thursday. He asked: do you want a party in your honour? I said, no thanks, I will be too tired and overwhelmed, but we can surely meet up for a beer. And we left it at that. A day before we were to leave he wrote again: I am in trouble. Are we meeting tomorrow? But maybe for a bit longer than a beer? I thought I would be exhausted, hence I declined the party. We were picked up from the airport by a friend to have coffee together, so time was tight. Then dinner with my beloved niece, but I had to make it quick if I wanted to spend quality time with this friend, who clearly was in need.
So, I went to his place and while he was eating, and to warm up the mood I explained how I have been, how I was up late to make presents for my other niece and my mum, and I finished exactly at the moment he was done eating. I got a beer. I looked at him, and asked: do you want to start at the end or in the beginning? And so I knew it was about women. I was hoping for a good outcome. He is close to 40, and yes, he has his first girlfriend ever. He freaked out, and I hope I managed to calm him down. I am very happy for him. I remember asking him: so, who else did you tell? He said no one, you only. The reason I asked, because I was wondering what advice other people gave him about the situation. He said: I am happy you are home exactly now, because I thought I really messed it up. But he didn’t.
I went home and I wrote to him: I am grateful for your trust. Thank you. And he wrote back: you are a true friend, you were there when I needed you. It is very rare that you hear it like this, that you have this very obvious confirmation that you are a friend. A good one. I am reading a book, which makes the point of having a reminder somewhere in the house, or your purse about things that are important to you. And one example says: what would you like to be said about you during your funeral? It was not weird for me to read about this. I contemplate this often. I wanted to commit suicide several times, hence I thought about how people would say goodbye to me. But I could not hear it anyway. I never come up with anything about career, I always think or hope is more accurate that people will say: she was a good friend, who was there for others when they needed it.